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- Bacon Equation
- Morning Misnomer
- All Signs Ignored
- Do You Hear What I Hear?
- Shape It Up Baby
- Mixed Messages
- Baby Controller
- Eye of the Beholder
- A Tolkien of My Affection
- Decline
- Status Check
- Optimism!
- Unmitigating Medication
- No hablo ingles
- Hope Lies in Watermelon
- Use Your Aggressive Feelings
- Don't Push It
- Welcome Back
- Remote Assignment
- Everything Shipshape
- It Means 'Hope'
- I'm on My Way
- Office Survivor
- There and Back Again
- Pillow Position
- Roll for Initiative
- Private Inspection
- Spoilers
- Gender Schmender
- The Doctor Is In
- Navel Daze
- Inconstant Craving
- Porkopalypse Now
- Wait for It
- Maximum Capacity
- Alien Induction
- A Taste for Speed
- Preterm Expenses
- It Wasn't Me
- Coffee Break
- Babygeist
- Baby Movin'
- Popcorn Problem
- Linea Nigra
- Hidden Technique
- All's Well That Ends Well
- Gesundheit
- Ye Shall Receive
- Would It Help If I Got Out and Pushed?
- Traditionalist
- All She's Got
- Alien Autopsy
- Our Most Advanced Technological Secrets
- May the Force Be With You
- A Little Fight Music
- Baby Belt
- Select Difficulty Level
- Reality Check
- Numbers Game
- The Bright Side
- Hold Your Horses
- See You Soon
- Wibble Wobble
- Communication Problems
- Dante's In Utero
- A Farewell to Ankles
- Back Ouchie
- The Horror
- Oleum Sanctum
- Little Consolation
- Oops
- Root, Root, Root for the Home Team
- Behold!
- I Can't Carry It for You
- Ho-hum
- Delivery Order
- Blathering Blatherskite
- Nothing to See Here
- Drop Anchor
- Back Away Slowly
- Color Me Surprised
- Be Prepared
- The Best Laid Schemes o' Mice an' Men Gang Aft A-gley
- On the Clock
- 'Twas Two Nights Before Christmas
- The Music of Life
- The Big Push
- Welcome to the World
- Our Thanks to You All
- Are You Ready?
- A Cone of Contention
- Unconventional Weapons
- We Believe He Can Save the World
- May I Be of Assistance?
- Flame On
- Guiltytown
- Blank Slate
- Homecoming
- Less Than Zero
- 'No Sleep for You!'
- Boxed In
- Shift Work
- Midnight Madness
- One Down
- O Sensei My Sensei
- Parental Paranoia
- Pop Quiz
- Fashion Faux Pas
- A Hero Is Born
- We'll Be Back
- A Time for Everything
- Inflation
- Pacify Me
- Push That Boulder
- Too Quiet
- Does Whatever an Infant Can
- The Bare Necessities
- Have a Seat
- Chain of Command
- Revisionist History
- Better Not to Think About It
- Evidence of Laundering
- It's Not a Competition
- Counted, Categorized and Catalogued
- Scent of a Boom-Boom
- Jacques Attack
- The Hero We Deserve
- Latched for Life
- Trust Your Feelings
- Rinse, Dry, Repeat
- Hard Reboot
- Some Call It Destiny
- Paranoid Androids
- Hiccup
- Late Night Sensation
- Little Plumber Boy
- I'll Keep You Posted
- Do You Hear the Parent Sing?
- Mommy Misadventure
- Stir Crazy
- Level 3 Unlocked
- Changing of the Bard
- A Farewell to Fingers
- Samurai X
- Player Select
- Timestamp
- The Choices of Master Samwise
- There Can Be Only One
- Disposal Dilemma
- The Scientific Method
- The Entropic Death of the Universe
- Hoo's Your Mommy?
- Wait Your Turn
- Ready to Absorb
- Jaws
- Between the Lines
- Pushing Buttons
- Long-time Listener, First-time Caller
- How Far We'll Go
- Wait It Out
- System Update
- Choose Wisely
- To the Lions
- The Lyndon Family at Home
- Help Wanted
- Parental Reinforcement
- Peter Tingle
- Sacked
- Sigh
- Midnight Chicken
- 'Hello'
- Five-Alarm Fire
- Mother Is the Necessity of Invention
- Ready for My Close-up
- Lost Art of the Ancients
- River to Stream
- Bait and Switch
- Up, Up and Away
- Eye Think You Have the Wrong Idea
- First in Class
- Soporific Musk
- Chat Level Unlocked
- Shot to the Heart
- I'll See You at Delphi
- The Breaking of the Fellowship
- Where the Green Grass Grows
- Homecoming
- The Morning Show
- It Goes to Eleven
- Come with Me if You Want to Live
- Get a Leg Up
- A Matter of Time
- Hoo-ah
- Indecision
- Game of Champions
- Babymax
- The Will of the People
- Luxury
- Let's Not Get Hasty
- Case Closed
- Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?
- History Is Written by the Victors
- Suivez la Piste
- Mama Power
- Be Careful What You Wish For
- Work Song
- Roll Call
- More than a Mere Mortal
- The Golden Arch
- Merrily We Roll Along
- Making Mouths
- Meh-Meh
- Amazon-65
- Back to Basics
- Your Work Here Is Done
- Frozen
- Look at Me When I'm Talking to You
- The Bottom of the Well
- He Can Be Taught
- Inverted Equation
- Nothing Up My Sleeve
- Hello.
- Life Finds a Way
- Mad About You
- Our Top Agent
- Our Star Player
- Brought to You by the Letter C
- Priorities
- On the Money
- The End of an Era
- To Have and to Have Not
- Never Again, Again
- Getting Carried Away
- Pop-u-lar
- Selection Menu
- Nominated
- It Is Time
- Over Easy
- Peek-a-billionaire
- Elevator Agitators
- Walk the Plank
- Titanic Tot
- Diaper Rash of the Titans
- Tout le Monde Peut Cuisiner
- Breather
- Try This at Home
- The Day Promised in His Early Days
- From Diapers with Love
- The Peanut Butter Test
- Watch and Wait
- Do the Locomotion
- Containment
- Slouch Potato
- And Don't Call Me Shirley
- Epiphany
- Fosse Baby
- Up and at 'Em
- Kissing Contest
- The Six Million Dollar Mom
- Misapplied Science
- Ill Communication
- Perpetual Emotion Machine
- Pumpkin and Honey Bunny
- Scream of Consciousness
- Training Mission
- Method to the Madness
- Wave Function Collapse
- Time's Up
- According to Whom?
- Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken
- Boo's Got Radioactive Blood
- Mommy 2.0
- 1974 Calling
- Into the Lion's Den
- Premonition
- Everything's Going to Be All Right
- First Encounter of the Sticky Kind
- Uncertainty
- I'll Sleep When You're Well
- How Dare You Try to Help Me
- In Thermometer We Trust
- A Moment to Breathe
- Catch that Rascally Rabbit
- Too Late
- You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry
- The Grand Tour
- There
- Back Again
- Calling Backup
- Welcome to the Arcade
- The Doctor Will See You Now
- Ring the Bells
- Walkies
- One Small Step for One Small Man
- And We're Off
- Waiting Room
- Time Well Spent
- Apple Overload
- Spread the Love Around
- Four Is the Painfulest Number That You'll Ever Do
- Help Wanted
- Containment Breach
- Dad Bod
- Apex Predator
- You Have Much to Learn, Grasshopper
- Gerwalk Mode
- Little Baryshnikov
- Reading List
- Dietary Needs
- Have You Met Lord Strollerton?
- Skill Set
- Are You Talking to Me?
- Release the Form in the Marble
- Kryptonite
- We'll Be Back
- Falling Behind
- On Your Mark
- Up, Up and Away
- Preparations
- Let Me Show You to Your Seat
- Change on a Plane
- The Gang's All Here
- Reposition Your Position
- Party of One
- One, Baby, One!
- Face Facts
- No Child Left Behind
- A Journey Beyond Space and Time
- Sheets to the Wind
- I Want to Pump You Up
- Sea Legs
- Mission Accomplished
- Reverse Escape Artist
- Sack the Ref
- Sit ' n' Slide
- Play the Game
- The Leap
- How Do You Right a Wobbly Tower?
- Guilt Watch
- M Is for Milk
- Know Your Toddler Emotions
- Walk This Way
- Definite Article
- DomesticAssistant.exe Not Found
- Man the Battlements
- Communication Problems
- Imprisoned by Emotions
- Agent of Chaos
- Refined Tastes
- You Are What You Eat
- Ducky Dilemma
- Sticky Situation
- If You Can't Take the Heat...
- Cry to the Heavens
- One Failure Leads to Another
- Fake-Out
- Hygiene First
- The Truth Is Out There
- Blocked
- Set the Bar
- Up
- Your Server Will Take Your Order Now
- Carried Away
- The end.
Creator
If there’s a right way to respond to this request, this probably isn’t it 😭 The first milk is called “colostrum,” and it’s thick, yellowish, and full of extra antibodies. We were lucky that we had milk right away, but the little guy wasn’t the best at getting it out. (We spent a while revising this one to be “funny” and not “eww”-level creepy—hope I got the balance right 😅😵)
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